How to help someone who doesn't clean their house?

Author: Roxane Bogan  |  Last update: Wednesday, July 30, 2025

Offering general support
  1. Use respectful language. Don't refer to their possessions as 'junk' or 'rubbish'. ...
  2. Don't focus on a total clean-up. ...
  3. Listen to what they want. ...
  4. Think carefully about gifts. ...
  5. Don't pressure them to let you into their space. ...
  6. Let them know you are there. ...
  7. Include your loved one in calls to authorities.

Why do some people refuse to clean their house?

This can be due to lack of motivation, lack of impulse control, poor planning, etc. The other big one here is hoarding or people who grew up with a hoarder, which makes cleaning impractical at best and uncleanliness as the default.

What is it called when someone doesn't clean their house?

A person who doesn't clean up after themselves might be referred to as ``messy,'' ``untidy,'' or ``sloppy.'' Informally, you might also hear terms like ``litterbug'' if they leave trash behind, or ``disorganized'' if their lack of cleanliness extends to their belongings.

What is the psychology behind messy houses?

The Mental Health Connection

It's interesting to note that mess and clutter can also be indicators of mental health. Disorders like ADHD, anxiety, and depression can show signs in one's surroundings. It could be challenging for those who are dealing with these issues to find the drive or energy to clean.

How to deal with people who are not clean?

Set Some Ground Rules. If you choose to live with someone who isn't exactly on your level of clean, make sure to set some ground rules ahead of time. You can't dictate how they handle the mess in their own room and bathroom, but you can make requests for the common areas. Be realistic of course.

The Layers of a Clean House (Why Cleaning Feels so Hard)

How to tolerate living with messy people?

Cleaning compromises: how to live with a messy person
  1. Understand why they are so messy. ...
  2. Talk about cleaning expectations (and be willing to compromise) ...
  3. Create a cleaning schedule you both agree on. ...
  4. Purchase the right cleaning equipment. ...
  5. Have your own haven of cleanliness.

What is it called when someone doesn't clean themselves?

Diogenes syndrome is a behavioral-health condition characterized by poor personal hygiene, hoarding, and unkempt living conditions.

What is filthy house mental illness?

It may lead to hygiene, health, and social issues. It often occurs with other conditions such as dementia. Also known as severe domestic squalor, people with Diogenes syndrome often show signs of severe self-neglect, social isolation, and hoarding. They may also live in unsanitary conditions.

What does messiness say about a person?

Psychology says that messiness can indeed be a sign that a person is having trouble. Just like someone who is suffering from OCD and has to control everything, being a messy person might show that they are dealing with depression or some other mental illness.

Is it unhealthy to live in a messy house?

Respiratory illnesses can be exacerbated by excessive dirt and mess. Dust mites, mold, and other allergens can thrive in a cluttered environment, making breathing difficult for people with asthma or allergies. In severe cases, exposure to these triggers can lead to an asthma attack or the development of an allergy.

Is it normal to not clean your house?

Some people simply do not place a high priority on having everything clean, organized, and in its place. In this case, messiness is simply a normal state of affairs. If the house is cluttered and it's just fine with you, then it's probably more a sign of your personality and preferences.

What to do when a family member lives in Filth?

During their process of starting to clean or clear, you can help by thinking about the following:
  1. Respect their decisions. Most people have some attachment to things they own. ...
  2. Don't take over their space. It's understandable to want to help them improve things. ...
  3. Try to be patient. ...
  4. Help them celebrate successes.

What is poor hygiene a symptom of?

Here's the thing, while it might seem like a mere annoyance or phase, hygiene indifference can actually be a sign of underlying mental health issues. Depression, anxiety, and other mental health conditions can often manifest in teens as a lack of interest or energy to maintain personal hygiene.

Why are some people ok with living in Filth?

Chronic non-cleaners are living in an unpleasant, smelly and unhealthy environment, but don't seem overly upset by this, which is in itself, a sign of a serious problem. Many of these individuals have a mental disorder which allows them to create mess and then live in it without concern.

How to get someone to clean up after themselves?

Rules you must follow when you make your pitch
  1. Rule 1: Get buy-in. ...
  2. Rule 2: Be positive and clear about what you actually want. ...
  3. Rule 3: Ask if there's something you can do to make it easier for them. ...
  4. Rule 4: Be realistic but firm. ...
  5. Rule 5: Make it rewarding. ...
  6. Be appreciative. ...
  7. Find your gratitude. ...
  8. Adjust the plan.

Why do I get angry when my house is messy?

Clutter puts your mind into overdrive, causing your senses to focus on what isn't important, leading to stress. A messy environment draws your attention from where it ought to be.

What is the psychology of untidy people?

Indeed, according to psychological research, sloppiness might be an indicator of emotional distress. Like someone with OCD who feels they need to micromanage every aspect of their life, someone who is chronically disorganized may suffer from depression or another mental health condition.

Is messiness genetic or learned?

“We are the products of our learning environments — you're not born to be tidy or messy,” says Joseph R. Ferrari, a professor of psychology at DePaul University in Chicago who researches procrastination and clutter. “Tidiness can be learned or unlearned, just like messiness can be learned or unlearned.”

Why do some people not clean their house?

Most people do not clean their homes because they don't have time. Their schedules are filled with full-time jobs, extra activities, taking care of their children, social gatherings, etc. The spare time that they might have will be allocated for resting.

What is considered a filthy home?

Your house is considered dirty when it's unsanitary, meaning it has unpleasant odours, mould, or even insects. A dirty house means there's more than just harmless clutter. It can be harmful to your health. There's a difference between living in a “cluttered, messy” house and living in a “dirty” house.

What is the mental illness living in filth?

Diogenes syndrome (DS) is a behavioural disorder characterized by domestic filth, or squalor, extreme self-neglect, hoarding, and lack of shame regarding one's living condition [1]. The approximate annual incidence of Diogenes is 0.05% in people over the age of 60 [2].

Do hoarders get better?

It's not easy to treat a hoarding disorder, even when the person is prepared to seek help, but it can be overcome. The main treatment is cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT). The therapist will help the person to understand what makes it difficult to throw things away and the reasons why the clutter has built up.

What do you call a person who doesn't clean their house?

Messy house syndrome, also called “Diogenes syndrome,” might be more commonly known as “hoarding.” Those with messy house syndrome might be called “messies” or “hoarders.” They struggle to clean up or declutter their home due to underlying physical or mental health issues.

What is the effect of lack of personal hygiene?

As well as having negative social affects, poor hygiene and hand washing causes health problems. Poor hygiene can cause sickness and disease. Poor hygiene can also cause social rejection and may also lead to bullying, low confidence and low self-esteem.

What does a messy house say about someone?

You may be overwhelmed

'Mess can mean different things to different people. A messy space could indicate creativity or someone who is too busy but a messy space could also indicate further issues like anxiety or ADHD.

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